Last week I was blessed to spend time with a young woman who I deeply care about. She was dealing with troubles in a dating relationship. Consequently, she was confused, overwhelmed, sad, and struggling to focus. Pre-med homework didn't seem to matter and she worried that she would fall behind because of the pains in her heart. Sleep was hard to come by, and socializing was less than enjoyable.
This young lady is absolutely beautiful. She is gorgeous on the outside, but has this radiant heart that just exudes life. She is strong, passionate, considerate, incredibly funny, and intellectually brilliant. Yet she was deeply pained and overcome with fear and worry. My heart broke for her. I would give anything to take the pain away and fix the sadness. Yet, I know she needs to walk through it. So, I can listen, I can pray, I can show support and continued love as she works through the situation. And as I watch her face this situation, as well as previous times in life that were difficult, I am able to see growth in her. As she has walked through hard times, she has developed a deeper, more insightful, more compassionate personality. She has ultimately come out a stronger, more genuine, empathetic woman. So, while my heart breaks for her, I know that in time this will be something that leads to growth. It will serve purpose. So, for the time being I continue to pray, and encourage, and hold her close to my heart.
This morning, I put together a basket for this young lady. I placed snacks, bubble bath, a book, and a card in the basket. Then I left on a 15 mile run.
15 miles... Not training for a marathon. I've run every day this week and heaven KNOWS I should have been doing homework. Yet, I HAD to run because of ED's manipulation and control. Over half way through my run, my Ipod died. I was frustrated and knew it would be a long finish. Suddenly, the Lord spoke to me. He revealed to me that He feels the same way that I feel toward my friend, and even deeper. God's heart breaks for me. His heart breaks for all of us as we struggle. When I am confused about past hurts, difficult relationships, struggles of various sorts, when I feel broken and lost and don't even want to wake up and face a day, when I can hardly put one foot in front of another, and when my smile is utterly and completely fake, He feels JUST like I do with friends. His heart breaks. He wants to take it away. He would give anything not to have to watch pain. Yet He knows it's also necessary for growth. So, He cries with me, He puts supportive people and situations in my path to keep me going, and He holds me close.
This young lady is absolutely beautiful. She is gorgeous on the outside, but has this radiant heart that just exudes life. She is strong, passionate, considerate, incredibly funny, and intellectually brilliant. Yet she was deeply pained and overcome with fear and worry. My heart broke for her. I would give anything to take the pain away and fix the sadness. Yet, I know she needs to walk through it. So, I can listen, I can pray, I can show support and continued love as she works through the situation. And as I watch her face this situation, as well as previous times in life that were difficult, I am able to see growth in her. As she has walked through hard times, she has developed a deeper, more insightful, more compassionate personality. She has ultimately come out a stronger, more genuine, empathetic woman. So, while my heart breaks for her, I know that in time this will be something that leads to growth. It will serve purpose. So, for the time being I continue to pray, and encourage, and hold her close to my heart.
This morning, I put together a basket for this young lady. I placed snacks, bubble bath, a book, and a card in the basket. Then I left on a 15 mile run.
15 miles... Not training for a marathon. I've run every day this week and heaven KNOWS I should have been doing homework. Yet, I HAD to run because of ED's manipulation and control. Over half way through my run, my Ipod died. I was frustrated and knew it would be a long finish. Suddenly, the Lord spoke to me. He revealed to me that He feels the same way that I feel toward my friend, and even deeper. God's heart breaks for me. His heart breaks for all of us as we struggle. When I am confused about past hurts, difficult relationships, struggles of various sorts, when I feel broken and lost and don't even want to wake up and face a day, when I can hardly put one foot in front of another, and when my smile is utterly and completely fake, He feels JUST like I do with friends. His heart breaks. He wants to take it away. He would give anything not to have to watch pain. Yet He knows it's also necessary for growth. So, He cries with me, He puts supportive people and situations in my path to keep me going, and He holds me close.
When I came back from my morning run, I opened the card I had written my friend. . .
"Dear ___****_____,
I am so sorry for the pain and confusion that you are facing right now. I know that it's hard for you to understand and that it is causing an overwhelming amount of hurt, tears, fear, and exhaustion. I hate watching you go through this and feel this burden and I would take it away in a heartbeat. But, I know that you will make it through this and that it will be ok. You are strong, you are wise, courageous, and you possess inward beauty that is indescribable. It has been an honor to watch you become the person you are today, and I am so proud and blessed to have you in my life. You are special. I'm here if you need me, and I am holding you close in thought and prayer. Love always, Jay"
. . . If God wrote a hand-written letter to each of us, I think He would tell us that He hates watching us go through struggles and face painful times. Yet, He will constantly lead, guide, and protect us during those times as we develop and grow in various ways.
When we watch others suffer, it's heart-breaking. Friends dealing with eating disorders, destructive relationships, divorcing parents, school issues, depression, etc etc etc. . . The pain that we feel toward others is only a glimpse of the care and concern that God has for each of us. His Heart Breaks for Me. For You. God, who created each of us in His unique and individual way, longs for the day when beauty will come from the pain. Meanwhile, He cries, He holds, He walks the path with us until the day that we are whole.
When we watch others suffer, it's heart-breaking. Friends dealing with eating disorders, destructive relationships, divorcing parents, school issues, depression, etc etc etc. . . The pain that we feel toward others is only a glimpse of the care and concern that God has for each of us. His Heart Breaks for Me. For You. God, who created each of us in His unique and individual way, longs for the day when beauty will come from the pain. Meanwhile, He cries, He holds, He walks the path with us until the day that we are whole.
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