This past weekend, I travelled Northbound to Holland to meet Mic at Panera. We spent the day talking and doing homework in the relaxing environment that Panera offers. The decision wasn't our smartest, however, as there were warnings of a blizzard on the way. Well, 6pm comes and Holland is getting tons of snow. . . Mic and I part ways, and hug in case it's the last time we see each other (morbid, right?!)
As I begin the trek home, the roads become harder and harder to see. . . The snow was falling heavily and blowing across my path. At several periods, complete whiteouts occurred and I had to stop along the side of the road with the other vehicles that had braved the roadways. . .
While I was clenching my fingers to the steering wheel and praying to God to help me travel the 70 miles home, I began to think about storms and others. . . See, I was facing a battle while I was driving. There was a part of me that liked it when other cars were near me. They gave me assurance that I could keep going and that this way was in fact the right way to travel. They boosted my confidence and took away some of my fears and anxieties. At the same time, however, these other cars made me feel vulnerable and insecure. I didn't want them to get too close to me, as this made me quite nervous.
Then it occurred to me. . . Often times during our "storms" of life, it's the same way with our support system. On the one hand, when we face trials and struggles of various sources, we just want to be alone. It's easy to go at our own pace and feel the path ahead in a manner in which we feel safe. At the same time, however, we want that support group around us to help show the way. . . To make us feel safe and confident that we are moving forward. To walk/drive alongside to help us reach that goal. We want our support to be close, but this closeness can often bring that feeling of being vulnerable, that maybe they are getting too close to us in this time of weakness.
Perhaps I was thinking way too much during this drive home, but I just found it so symbolic. . . Although we often isolate and attempt to go through our problems alone, I think that when we do our best, it's when others light the way and continually remind us that we are exactly where we need to be on the path. . . When they get close to us, but allow space to take it slowly. . .
Anyway, other than my reflective trip home from Holland, things here have been going pretty well. I love my new program (Community Counseling) and the classes that I am in are really intriguing. I often feel overwhelmed by the amount of homework I have, but it is all good stuff that really gets me thinking. . .
I've also been nannying some more this semester, which I really enjoy. It is exhausting, but I definitely have a ton of laughs through out the day :) I also still work at custodial at school, cleaning in the Architecture building. . . Although it's pretty mundane, I generally like it because I get to see the cool projects the students are working on, and the environment is really fun.
My roommates and I still get along pretty well for the most part, although I definitely miss my Dordt friends. I am really looking forward to March 7, as a good friend will be spending several days with me! Then we'll drive back to Iowa together for my Spring Break. . .
Well, this post doesn't really have too much new information. . . Basically, I'm tryin to work hard in school and learn as much as I can before I'm thrown into the working world :)
1 comment:
I say after your exams, your blog deserves an update! ;)
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