chosen.

During the past week, I have been baby-sitting my younger siblings while my parent's have been gone. As someone who likes control, organization, and independence, this week has varied drastically from my "normal routine". Overall, the week has gone considerably well - no illnesses or injuries, no significant behavioral battles. Still, I'm struck by how exhausting and laborious parenting is. . . It's essential that all basic needs are met - meals, appropriate winter clothing, and adequate sleep must be ensured. These issues can cause drama, however, as my preteen siblings each have different meal preferences, often feel they don't need coats or gloves in this arctic climate, and debate appropriate bedtimes each night. In addition to providing for essential needs, these children have non-essential needs that must be provided for as well. Basketball practices that need transporting to and from, play dates that require supervision and transporting, rides to youth group, trips to the store to get gatorade or snacks for a church youth group trip, permission to have friends overnight or go to friends' houses. In addition to that, the unexpected dramas arise on a constant basis - one can't find their glasses, another forgets music for band, it's our turn to bring snacks to GEMS, one has a fight with a friend and is hurting, each child wants to talk at the same time and needs an answer RIGHT NOW, One is confused about another relationship. Another is upset at me and doesn't want to listen.

Although it's been a long week, I look at my siblings and am still constantly grateful. . . Each of these young ones have joined our family through the process of adoption. My family is big and loud and hectic and full of drama. Yet, the choice that my parents made to adopt has been such a life-changing blessing to me. My siblings have added so much joy to my life. It excites me to watch them grow and develop. My heart breaks when they are struggling with something or hurting because of a relationship issue. And sometimes, I'm frustrated by their choices or disobedience. Or, like this week, I feel exhausted by their needs and wants. Still, I wouldn't change these experiences for anything in this world. Each of the siblings that my family has adopted have been a gift to me. They have blessed my life incredibly, and have changed me in so many ways. I honestly can't imagine my life without them.

As I reflect upon this week, I am continually struck by the fact that God chose to adopt each of us and call us His own. I think back to our earthly adoptions - - the adoption agency attempts to inform the family of as much as they are able. . . possible health concerns, family history, child temperament and behavior, etc. They want to give the adoptive family as much information as they can to aid them in the decision. The family is then able to pray on it and decide whether or not they are able to provide for the needs of that specific child. This week I continually stood in awe as I realized that my Father in Heaven knew everything about me, and yet He chose me. He knew the health concerns I would face in my life. He knew that I don't believe in myself. He knew that when things got difficult in life, I would turn to an eating disorder rather than to Him. He knew that when I wanted to escape from the eating disorder and still fell countless times, I would doubt His power and question His love. He knew all my insecurities, all my doubts, all my fears. He knew everything that has happened in my past, He knew all the things I have said or done to others, and He knew what the future holds. He knows it all, yet He chooses me. That makes me feel blessed.

It truly amazes me. Our Creator knows each one of our hearts. He knows our various needs. He knows our desires. And He chooses each one of us to be His. He knows that we will make mistakes. He knows that we will have doubts and fears. He knows that we will often stray from Him, question Him, or outright direct anger toward Him. He knows our short-comings. Yet, He chooses us and loves us with an unconditional, infallible love. In Deuteronomy, we read "The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession."

We are his treasured possession, His children whom He loves. We stumble and we fall, we hurt others and we doubt our Lord. Yet His love is unconditional and sincere. He patiently waits for our hearts and offers us a love that is hard to fathom. . . a patient, kind, hopeful, protective love. A forgiving, humble love. He chose us and delights in us and waits patiently for each of us.

God's love is something that really amazes me. I love my young siblings with my whole heart. Yet, I become impatient or upset with them when they don't listen. I say things to them in frustration that don't need to be said. I expect obsessive cleanliness from them that is unattainable. And, at times over the past week, I have counted down the hours until my parent's return. I get tired, impatient, unkind, and unrealistic. My love is flawed. . . His love is a perfect, true love that will never fail. What an incomprehensible blessing it is to know that my Father loves me with a perfect love and forgives me for all my weaknesses and short-comings.